Painting with Words: Evocative Details Increase Your Story's Impact on the Reader

This week we have explored the power of details in a story, identifying evocative details in our own and each other's writing. You have written some terrific details. Below find a list of examples, in YOUR words (yes, I used A.W.E. = author's words exactly here), as you focused on a particular moment in time when you faced a challenge and described the setting for the reader.

Talk about "painting with words"--there is terrific use of figurative language here!

“The stars had shined their shoes and brushed their teeth.” Moises, IMAGERY + PERSONIFICATION

“…Climbed on the counter like I was rock climbing…but it was slippery…” Aliyah, IMAGERY  + SIMILE

“The morning foggy and dark…” Emilio, IMAGERY

“…the taste of iron in my mouth,” Michael, IMAGERY

“My head felt fuzzier than a TV with no cable.”  Dakari, SIMILE

“When I stepped outside, I remember being instantly hugged by a warm, tropical breeze.”  Brianna, PERSONIFICATION

"Crows flying over my head like angels in the sky..." Tyjah, Imagery + simile

“My arms turned into weights pulling me down,” Kahari – METAPHOR

“When she responded, ‘Let’s start off as friends first,’ my thoughts attacked my mind with a bat of insecurity.” 

Justyn – Personification + metaphor

“I got really nervous like a groundhog when it sees its shadow.” Carter, SIMILE

“I remember I was shooting snot like a AK47.” Asante, SIMILE 

“Holding his cold body, I felt as though I were carrying Mr. Freeze.” Lyric, SIMILE 

“My true pain was hidden under and under armor.” Denzel, PERSONIFICATION 

“I squint my eyes open as the sun sneaks its rays through my window.” Jimena, PERSONIFICATION

“My hands were shaking intensely, as if my body were a ball of vibration.” Asya, SIMILE 

“I finally looked at my phone. The text message said, ‘Yes, with no further explanation of who or why.’ My heart dropped out of my chest into my lap.” Justyn – PERSONIFICATION

“Gravity told me and my body, ‘You are forbidden to pass beyond this point.’” Kahari - PERSONIFICATION

Wow, schoar-artists, you really know how to 'paint with words." I cannot wait to read your narratives! 

First drafts of "Stories with Wings," detailing a challenge in your life and the personal core value you used to overcome this challenge, are due next week (see calendar). Even period classes submit "Stories with Wings" drafts on Tuesday, odd period classes submit your drafts on Wednesday. 

Please see "Into the Lion's Den," Mr. Shakur's incredible story of losing his writer's voice, and finding it again, to see what we are striving for in this piece of writing. Yes, I am still drafting my piece, and it is on the way. (You will have the opportunity to read my piece next week.)